A Love Letter to History’s Most Underrated Film, by Sam Butler

Dear They Came Together (2014), starring Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd, written and directed by David Wain,

If I can say it in a thousand words, I can say it in three: I love you. But I’m going to say it in a thousand anyway, because that’s how much you mean to me.

I love how beautiful and charming all of your main characters are. I love their smiles. I love the side characters, their zany antics providing the perfect side plots to your main story. I love the way you can make me laugh, even when I’m feeling down. I love your mockery of the entire idea of romance, and I especially love how you mock it in a meta, self-aware way. I love how you teach me to be a better man, your 83-minute run time giving me 83 minutes of life lessons, such as what to do if I accidentally shit in my Halloween costume.

And upon some self-reflection, I’ve realized why my love for you is so strong. It’s because you don’t get anywhere close to the adoration you deserve. A 5.5/10 rating on IMDB. A score of 60 from Metacritic. A 2.2/5 star rating on Amazon. A respectable, but not high enough 70/100 on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, They Came Together, it befuddles me how you can stay so strong despite being so mistreated. Just know it’s not the opinions of the haters that matter, it’s the opinion of those who love you. And I do. Oh, God, I do.

Remember the day we met? It was early in the summer. The sky was blue, and I was outside, in my backyard. We only saw each other in passing. My friend Joe texted me the link to your trailer, and without knowing the infatuation that would overcome me, I watched it. And I was in love. The jokes, the actors, the music. You had me. But fool that I was, I thought that was it. Upon seeing your trailer, I assumed it was just a short skit, that it was too funny to actually be an entire feature film.

Flash forward to a couple of weeks later, Joe texts me again in excitement. “DUDE,” he says, “IT’S A REAL MOVIE.” He explains to me that the skit I saw—the skit I loved—was just the trailer to an entire movie—and it was good.

Without hesitation, I watched you. That night, those 83 minutes, they mean the world to me. I discovered your voluptuous plotlines, laughed at your intricately crafted jokes, and watched through the entirety of your credits. Did you know that? I watched your whole credits.

Since that day, I’ve re-watched you countless times. Night or day, rain or shine, with friends or without, it doesn’t matter. I’m always in the mood for you, They Came Together.

It wasn’t until I started reading about you online and recommending you to everyone I knew that I finally understood the truth behind the phrase “Love hurts.” From people I had considered friends, I heard things like “Yeah, I’ve seen that before. I don’t remember it being that good.” Online I read comments like “I went in knowing that many considered it to be hit or miss, but I actually really enjoyed it and I would say at least 90% of the jokes hit their mark.”

Ninety percent? Just ninety percent? They Came Together, I want you to know you don’t have to listen to that negativity. You are 100% in my book. Like Dwyane Wade’s wife’s hair-care product company, you are Flawless.

But that’s enough negativity. Whenever I get too caught up, I always come back to the scene where Paul Rudd’s character Joel enters a bar after breaking up with his girlfriend, Tiffany.

Joel:Give me another one, make it a double.

Bartender:You look like you had a bad day.

Joel:Heh, tell me about it.

Bartender:Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much.

Joel:You can say that again.

Bartender:Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much.

Joel: Tell me about it.